Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay
Okay, it’s almost the end of 2020 and I’m really pissed. I’ve been cheated all my life and I’m not going to take it anymore! I’ve had it and I’m going to do something about everyone who has cheated me out of what is rightfully mine.
First of all, I’m going to retroactively sue my parents for not leaving me an inheritance of millions of dollars. How is one to survive on anything less? I’ll get a good lawyer. Maybe Rudy can take up my case. Then I am going to sue God and the hospital where I was born for allowing me to be born with asthma and allergies. I shouldn’t have had to put up with all of those breathing problems!
Then there was this insult when I was in high school. I’m going to sue my high school because they let someone else graduate as the valedictorian of my class. It’s not going to stop there. Next, I am going to sue Harvard for not accepting me into their prestigious institution. I didn’t apply, but that’s not the point. I deserved to be accepted. They should have begged me to attend.
Perhaps the biggest indignity of my entire life is that I’ve had to actually work my whole life until I had to retire. I wasn’t cut out to work. That’s for losers and suckers. For my entire life, someone else took those cushy jobs that were meant for me. Many of those who stole my dream jobs were minorities or immigrants. It wasn’t fair.
Do you realize how many times I’ve won the Mega Millions jackpot? Every time I won someone changed the winning numbers and gave the money to some loser who really didn’t know what to do with the money. Even when I buy scratch tickets the clerk, who sells them to me, purposely takes my ticket from the losers’ bundle of tickets. Every damn time! Even the machines that dispense lottery tickets are rigged against me.
Oh yeah. I forgot about the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. I don’t know how many times I sent in my entry and followed all the rules, but to no avail. I’ve sat for hours looking out my window waiting for the prize patrol to drive up to my front door. It has to be rigged against me. I haven’t even won the Irish Sweepstakes, and I’m half Irish!
I really become angry when I see these losers driving around in beautiful red Porsche Boxters! I should be driving one! That’s my car! Just because I can’t afford one doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have one. It’s not fair.
Now that I am retired I have to live on government handouts like Social Security and my pension. Who does that? Where the hell is my slush fund. People should be giving me money for no other reason than I deserve it. Maybe I should go to Deutsche Bank and take out a loan for a billion dollars. I can use my name as collateral. Or I can run for president. I hear anyone can.
I’m psyched right now about getting everything I deserve. Now that I know that my failures have not been my fault, but someone else’s, I can work to right these wrongs. And I have that wonderful role model and benevolent human being, Donald J. Trump, to thank for enlightening me. We’re not losers, are we Don?
Shared from my blog Stephen Sovies Blog